Make it stick.

I suppose I know that my impact on the world is small.

I suppose that I know my impact on this country is small. 

I also suppose not everyone cares to impact the world or anyone else for that matter.  I suppose I thought my Small but Valuable Life supplied some form of
purpose, some impact.  Possibly to bring joy to ones day, or to bring about laughter.  Possibly to help someone else feel as though they are not alone in the world.  A caring heart can relieve a paining heart.  I wonder now though, how deeply does one person touch another.  How profound is one's affect on another.  Is it only in passion that you truly move someone and how quickly does the personal positive encounter retain its strength.

For example, have you ever done a good deed and thought, "well that should carry me for awhile, that should stick."    

I remember a time in school.  A time of discomfort with another person.  The obvious nervousness I felt because I just knew that person I was passing in the hall didn't care for me.  Walking a route that would keep me clear of that persons sight. The fear of an unwanted encounter, an unwanted confrontation.  Then one day out of the blue you find yourself in a situation you never expected and a barrier is broken, a moment of resistance gone, an allowing of acceptance flows and you and this person share a common ground.  You actually broke the barrier.  You find yourself in conversation and while still uncomfortable on the inside, while still cautious, while still uncertain, you hope this could be the start of a better relationship.  Possibly a friendship if you dare think it.  You feel excited when the encounter is over.  You've made progress, you've come to a new understanding, you think all is good.  It is.  For a time. But did it stick?   I'm sorry to say that many times it did not. 

And why?  Our personalities clashed.  Our aura's didn't compliment each other. :)  Our ego's were too strong for our own good.  What?!  So you go back to hugging the hall wall.  Avoiding any eye contact.  Staying clear of the enemy.  It's sad to think that a good deed, a good moment in time, won't hold you in a place of acceptance or contentment forever.  It didn't stick.

I am not a fan of unsettled feelings.  My anger is short lived.  I live my life to be happy.  To find happiness.  I do look for the silver lining, I do live the day I'm in, and I do want to support and help those around me to have a better day.  I may not move the world to spin easier.  I may not impact the world to the level that some do.  I may be a tiny being, in a small town, living a small life, but I will still try to make it valuable, and special to someone each and everyday that I am still breathing and I will make it stick.  So if you need me, I'm here. :)

S.