Learn to laugh at yourself...

The idea of laughing at yourself does not come easy.  I should know, when people laughed at me as a kid, I'd
run to my room and cry.  The next thing you know, my mom would come and talk to me and tell me, I had to learn to laugh at myself.  I really couldn't.  After all, it wasn't funny.  It took a long time for those words to sink in.  "Learn to laugh at yourself."  In school I was not a comedian.  I was not out to make people laugh.  Not at all.  In fact, in grade school I wasn't exactly popular.  In fact, I would say I had one really good friend, and some other friends.  I stayed to myself, and even though I was trying so hard to be pretty and popular, the boys in my class were anything but nice.  They called me names, they made me feel very ugly, etc.  So, I was not out to gain any more attention than what I was getting.  In High school, it took a while before I even felt like I was a part of the class.  I went to a little school, and I graduated from that school with 15 other kids.  Coming into the public schools we were out numbered and blending into the paint on the walls was probably a good idea.  Over time, some of the kids in my class did make the transition, some did not.  Some I don't even know what happened to them.  I blended with the paint, but I also mixed in too. There were times I felt very much a part of my school and other times when I felt like nothing but the trim around the edges of the popular cake.  Was I a class clown.  Not really.  Did I laugh at myself?  Why would I....I wasn't funny and I wasn't trying to get laughs.  So, when did I decide to be fun, funny and laugh at myself?  I don't think I decided, I think it was born inside of me, and I just let it out.

I'm sure I came by it naturally.  My grandmother and my grandfather constantly jeered with each other.  Back and forth they would go to get the laughs.  My grandmother was a stand up comedian in her own right.  My grandfather aided her in the punch line.  Together they were the life of the party.  They pulled in everyone.  A group would congregate around them, laughter would start, giggles and more giggles, complete enjoyment arose from watching and listening to these two people. (My grandparents) They would crack everyone up, while they, "Cracked" on each other.  I realized, their silliness, their willingness to make fun of things that they had done, made others love them.  People loved to hang out with them, be near them, laugh with them and yes, at them, and you know what?  They were fine with that.  The more you laughed at them, the more you laughed, and that sound brought happiness and joy to everyone in the room, including them!  This was good.  I liked everything about who and what they stood for.  Love, between the two of them, and laughter. 

Let me tell you a story that might give you a good example of my grandparents.
My grandmother used to tell me, we have the funniest things happen to us every day.  Everyday we run into the most wonderful people.  Fun, happy, joyful, good people.  Quite honestly, I think they drew those people to them.  Those who they found, who they couldn't say enough good things about, I think, were a complete reflection of who they were.  Like looking in the mirror, they saw the same people they were in others.  Another good reason to be like them.  You end up finding the ones you love and hanging out with the most are the ones who reflect you, back to you again.

My grandma had hundreds of stories.  At family dinners, we would come around the table to hear grandma's latest encounters.  Here is one such story. My grandma went into a used furniture store.  She loved to shop thrift, (Not lift) haha, and even though she might not have bought much, she just loved looking at the old things.  She reminisced in the old, I think.  Memories were triggered from the old clothing, the fashions of the past, the old furniture.  She could have coined the word, "vintage" who knows, but she definitely had a real love for the past.  So she tells us this story.  She was in an old furniture store.  It was in an old historical building.  The furniture was not on display nicely like at a furniture store instead it was just stuck here, there and everywhere.  Nothing really made any sense, it was just there to wonder and weave through, and to be admired.  So off in the distance, across the long floor of furniture, far across the room, near windows that looked out toward the street, she saw a woman she knew.  She waved to the woman, who waved back.  She smiled toward the woman and the woman smiled back.  She knew she knew this woman.  A friend, someone who she recognized.  So slowly she weaved her way across the room to say hello.  As she came closer and closer, the woman looked more and more familiar.  Then, as my grandma broke down in laughter, almost unable to finish the story to tell us the exciting conclusion, she says, "My God, as I came closer, it was me!  I'd been waving at me!  It was a mirror!" Oh my gosh, she put her hands on her chest and she laughed, and laughed.  She rolled with laughter right there at the table, head back, cracking herself up.  She was making fun of herself.  She was laughing at herself, as was everyone else.  We all just thought, this is so grandma.  :)

My grandmother was the first real comedian I knew personally.  My grandmother was so loved, it amazed me.  It still amazes me.  I knew that If I could be anything like her I would be loved.  The truth is, I couldn't ever be like her, because she was just to darn unique.  I do however, enjoy making people laugh.  I do get a kick out of doing whatever I feel like, even if people might think I'm silly.  I'm alright with that as long as I get a smile, or a giggle or all out laughter.  I'm good with that. 

My mom is a fun person as well.  She definitely inherited the natural comic sense and shares it with others as well.  She can get herself rolling with laughter over something she has done.  Laughing at herself comes naturally.  I understand why she told me to laugh at myself all those times, all those years.  She knew laughing at myself would bring back to me JOY.  She was right.  It does. 

When I got married, as my husband and I were announced, "Husband and Wife" we turned and started down the little three steps that led up to and down from the alter.  My husband, slipped and missed a step, and grabbed my arm for stability I guess, and he almost fell, and he almost took me with him.  We both busted out laughing.  The entire church went from a gasp to laughter.  My husband made the gesture of wiping sweat off his brow, like, thank goodness we both just didn't land in a pile at the bottom of the stairs.  The laughter, the giggles continued.  We giggled as we made our way down the aisle.  Afterward, later in the night, when the party was over, the people had left to go back home, we talked about that moment over bubbles floating up in our glasses. We sat there in the party hall, my shoes kicked off, my feet up on his lap, as we sat back and relaxed in the two chairs facing each other.  We reviewed the day, the night, but what made us laugh was the moment when everyone laughed with us, at us, because we almost toppled as newlyweds. 

Find those moments when others are laughing at you, to laugh with them.  Enjoy the moments when you have brought about joy in others.  Laughter is not only good medicine, it is a bonding moment that no one forgets.  It will draw those just like you, to you.  It will help to break the ice, ease the tensions, and bring forth goodness and love.

One last story, just to throw out a surprise....of laughter I hope.
In moments when life seems most dire.  Most sad, most unpleasant.  Sometimes, the least expected, "take" on something, can really bring a release to the feelings of loss and sadness. 

My sister's brother in law who happens to be very funny.  A true comedian in his own right, lost his mother.  She passed away and as he and his brother's and sisters gathered together at the visitation talking and reminiscing.  The sadness was broken, if only for just a moment.  A man walked up to my sister's brother in law.  We'll call him Joe.  This man, thought that Joe was a cousin of the woman who had passed not the son.  So he asked most nonchalantly, how is your mother?
Without skipping a beat, he leaned over and looked past the man, towards the casket, and said while he pointed at the casket, "well, she not doin so good."  Now this made all of his siblings standing there, laugh!  They, (his siblings) all have a great sense of humor and in that moment, that was Funny!  The poor guy probably didn't know what had just happened but even he realized his mistake and had to chuckle with the family.  :) Laughter is good!  Find moments in your day to laugh at anything that seems or is funny.  Even if it's you who just did or said something really stupid.  Lol.

Happy New Year's Eve! May you find much laughter in 2014!
xoxo
S.