Civility, Manners and that which You Believe...

Manners are important.  After all, they keep us civil.  Wouldn't you agree?  On my Blog, I mention the importance of civility.  The Webster's Dictionary defines civility as, politeness, courtesy, a courteous act or expression.  I think the word civility could stand to be posted or displayed more often amongst the public.  My opinion of course.  Back to manners.  Socially correct behaviors as also stated in the Webster's Dictionary.  I don't know this Webster person but I'm very grateful for his desire to explain and describe every word in the English language.  Thank you Mr. Webster.  :)

I often find myself telling my children to, "mind their manners."  They know exactly what that phrase refers to.  They've been guided, molded and encouraged to say please, and thank you.   Pardon me, excuse me and hold the door for others. They know to cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze and the list goes on and on.  I never pass up the opportunity to, point out someones good manners, theirs included.  I also point out others missed, "good manner," opportunities as examples of what, not to do.  I suppose my goal is to teach my children to behave in a, "manner," that will set their future stage.  I try to remember as a mother, their mother, it is my job to raise these two little munchkins to be exemplary members of society one day. 

In doing so, part of my emphasis is in this guided statement.  "It really is not who you are, but who you, think, you are.  It really is not what you have, but what you believe you have."  One can be quite proud of oneself, and walk about in that regard, with a heightened level of esteem simply because ones value is self determined.  In regards to the outside world, one would never really know what, reality is.  For reality is based on the minds beliefs.  As I've mentioned in other blog entries, the brain, truly believes what you tell it.  Therefore, what you think and believe become a truthful reality. I find that to be important in life, because no matter what you think people might think of you, they are taking their lead on that subject, from you.  Do you understand that?  You are setting the mood and definition on who you are.  You are, setting the stage which describes the life you lead and no matter what you do have, or what you don't have, no one makes decisions about who you are, without you giving them, "the hints and beliefs" to go on. 

Here is an example.  Do you remember the movie, "In the Pursuit of Happiness", with actor Will Smith?  That movie was based on a true story.  If you haven't seen it, rent it.  The reality taking place in this movie is inspiring.  The fact is, reality can be sad too, but again, what you put out there determines a whole lot about you and what others think about you.  How you speak, how you carry yourself when you walk, how you use those, "manners" we talked about earlier.  How you present yourself.  In the movie, "In the Pursuit of Happiness", Will Smith's character has not been dealt the best life situation.  While he is certainly smart, smarts don't always make everything fall into, "perfect" place.  His life is not perfect.  In fact, it's rough.  Making ends meet becomes more and more of a problem.  However, he was obviously brought up with manners.  He presents himself as a clean, well kept, well dressed man.  He walks tall and strong and sure.  He portrays a man who is successful, who is doing fine in life and all that life throws at him.  He is managing well.  Life is good.  Behind the scenes, he has every reason to fall apart.  Every reason to not give a hoot about his appearance, his manners, his attitude, but he knows, He Knows, that others are determining his worth by what he is showing them.  By what he is expressing, what he is doing, how he is carrying himself.  The respect he is receiving is based on the respect he is expecting, practically demanding.  He knows who he is, even if it isn't how he may be living presently, he knows who he is.  He becomes a success financially because he was already a success within his own thinking, his own behaviors, his own self worth.  He determined his future simply by portraying all that he knew he was without the financial stability. 

If you watch the National News, then it should be no surprise to you that our, "middle class" is close to non existent.  Maybe around 25% of people fall into the bracket of what is referred to as, "the middle class."  Most have fallen off into what is referred to as, "the lower class."  Does this determine their worth?  No.  It shouldn't.  I hope it doesn't.  If it doesn't, it's because most of this countries middle class, has moved into this lower class tier.  Some of which may have come from the, "upper class tier."  Unfortunately the way our job market works, our wages system works, many, not for lack of hard work, fall, tier by tier.  Did they lose their classy stature on their way down?  I hope not.  I can't say I have the answers for how our country deals with low economic status, homelessness, hunger or unemployment but what I can tell you, is the determination this country puts in people, the way people fight to survive and live the good life, is spectacular.  The absolute integrity that people maintain and show through it all is outstanding.  The classiness they display is impressive. 

We are all, "In the pursuit of Happiness."  Lets teach our children that happiness can abound, if only through our beliefs and our expressions.  Through our outer image, integrity, and our belief in self worth.  Through our civility and the use of those all important manners. 

S.