Westminster Kennel Club - Dog Show
The Biggest dog show of the year! A dog show that features every known dog breed on Earth. Of course the judges spend hours, "Uh hum. Excuse me. Days," narrowing and weeding to come to one final supreme representation of dog. The dog to be named, "Best in show." This year the winner was the Beagle. I must say when I saw, "Little Miss. P" the Beagle, being awarded best dog in show, I wasn't surprised. All anyone had to do was take one look at her and you knew, she was the best! Actually, let me rephrase that last statement, I was completely shocked! Why? Because as a kid my dad brought home a beagle and I don't recall it looking anything like, Little Miss. P.
Before I begin, for the record, I love all animals. This is a story about my particular experiences with the beagle and is in no way a reflection of how I feel about the Beagle breed as a whole. That being said, on with the story.
My dad brought home a beagle puppy on a trial basis only. If we had the dog and liked the dog than ultimately we would keep the dog. However, my dad did not tell us that in some cases the Beagle can have its quirks. So the day begins with the beagle puppy and what happens? The beagle gets out the back door, just like a rocket he's gone! He's not just running, he's sprinting! We of course as a family, bail out the back door in hot pursuit of the little speed demon. Nowhere in sight however, we are at a loss. Until he started barking of course. I had never heard the bark of the beagle. This was a shocking sound! It was loud and obnoxious and within moments we found the little trouble maker! At which point, I regret to tell you, we said goodbye to that little trouble maker. My dad put him back on his leash, back in the car and burned rubber! (Not an exaggeration!) And that was the last we saw of said beagle.
This was my one and only experience with the beagle until just recently. I know I've mentioned that I live in a nice neighborhood, which I do. I have my nearly 100 year old man neighbor across the street and my sweet old lady neighbor, next door. The neighbor next door has a dog. A real pretty black dog of mixed breeding, I suspect. I like this dog. I have zero issues with this dog. My neighbor however is a dog lover no doubt and therefore when her daughter drops off, "their" dog. A beagle. My neighbor gladly takes her in as a welcome guest.
Mind you, I was not aware of the beagle next door. In fact, the day I came to realize there was a beagle next door, was the day I was sure someone's head had just been separated from their body. The sounds of shrieking were echoing through my house. I literally dropped the dish I was in the midst of washing right out of my hands. In shock from such horrific sounds coming from next door, the children and I went running outside to see what tragedy had happened. Should I dial 911? Call the fire department? What?!
Have you guessed what it was? Yes, it was the beagle.
"Whose beagle is that?!!" I wondered.
I soon found out that it was my neighbor's daughter's, "new" dog, as their old dog had recently passed away. Sad to hear the news of the death of their old dog my mind raced back to my childhood. "Oh no!" I thought. "Not a beagle!" I proceeded to tell my kids as I let out a sigh, "And there you have it kids, what a beagle sounds like."
Believe me when I tell you, days have come and gone to the sound of the barking beagle next door. I'm forgiving because after all, I love dogs and I like my neighbor. Some days however the dog sees me working in my yard and charges the fence! I think to myself, "If only he had a cape, he could fly!" He runs with such vigor, such force, such exuberance that a part of me chuckles and the other part of me thinks, "That dog is crazy." Don't get me wrong, he's cute as a button. Until he starts barking that is. Then he is just quite simply, a pain in the rear or ear. I tell him he needs to, "Quiet down!" I tell him he's, "Too loud! Annoyingly loud!" Does it help? No! Of course not! He was born with a built in blunt bellow!
The ripple affect of such a bark is outstanding. Soon dogs from all over the neighborhood are barking. I hear my dog inside my house barking! Barking is flooding the streets! I have to giggle because after all, it was little ole me who started all of this barking, simply by working in my back yard!
The beagle, going full force now with his wails, his hysterical cries, his deep bellowing bark echoing throughout the streets leads me to wonder, "Where in Gods good graces is my sweet old lady neighbor?"
"HELLO!...Do you hear that!?" How about bringing the beagle inside for awhile. After all, his chanting has encouraged every dog within a five mile radius to begin barking now, annoying everyone! Nothing. Nope. No one is coming to the rescue. No one. "Sweet Beagle!" I'm going to lose my mind. So these distress calls the beagle is putting out there keep on at a decibel I can't even describe and I am left in utter dismay.
One day I pass my, sweet old lady neighbor and we stop to chat. As we talk she comments that I'll have to, "speak up" because she can't hear anything. She forgot to put in her hearing aids. She informs me she is deaf without them. I think nothing of this until she mentions how nice the silence is when she's doing her afternoon crossword puzzles and takes them out. A light bulb pops on in my head and I realize, she can't hear the dog barking! She has no idea her beagle is breaking the sound barrier everyday from 5:00-6:30 p.m. I'm thinking, "Your beagle loses its mind everyday around dinner time and you don't even know it???!!!!"
Another day passes, I'm back out in my yard working away. It's peaceful, quiet, the sun is shining, there's a gentle breeze, the perfect moment in the back yard. "Crap!" I hear the neighbors screen door open. Out comes the beagle. I'm silent. I try not to move. Quietly I walk around the side of my house and continue to work. No good. Disaster strikes. Or in other words, someone just shut their car door. That's it! He's off and running and losing it! He's in all out panic mode! He's barking and howling! Hooting, yelping, and crying! Jokingly, I can't help but start narrating this scenario in my head.
"Oh, I get it." I think. The daughter who owns the beagle says to herself, "My mother says the dog is a perfect angel over at her house. Never barks, never whines, never makes a peep. Which is really strange because at my house, the dog never shuts up!! In fact, I have a strong suspicion the neighbors are plotting a plan to get rid of the dog. I think the dog might literally be driving people to drink!"
She tells her mother, my little old lady neighbor, "I'll just have to bring him over to your house more often mother, since he doesn't make a peep at your house."
Little does she know, her deaf mother hasn't heard a thing.
It truly makes me wonder about the benefits of going deaf! I could never decide which one of my 5 senses I was willing to go without but now I know.
Anyway, the barking beagle continues to baffle me but I'm sure, my sweet old lady neighbor, is none the wiser. She's completely oblivious to the antics of her antagonistic beagle in the backyard. She has no idea behind the reasons why I now walk around, swinging an open bottle of wine in my hand, while I do my yard work. Just tipping it back with every annoying outburst by, "the beagle." She just thinks her next door neighbor's a drunk. Well everyone, let's share a toast, "Long live the irritating bark of the beagle! Cheers! Life is Good! Thanks to the Beagle." "Tip Bottle back here." "And finally, cheers to the deaf!
It's at times like these that I envy you."
S.
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