On a serious note. Don't you just love those.

I rarely speak on a serious note. 
I try to live a life where I am up-beat and positive. 
Especially around others. 
Life is hard enough as it is, why not try to be uplifting to the people around me.  Gentle smiles, genuine
compliments, an up-beat disposition.  Kind words to those who need to hear some.  Hugs to those who don't get enough
of them.  Encouragement for those who seem to be sinking.  My heart hurts for many.  Sometimes my heart hurts for me.

Life is not easy.  When I was little, I don't think I ever knew that it wasn't.  When you are little not only are you innocent and optimistic, you look at your parents to help you decide, how you are.   My parents did well financially so life seemed good.  We had nice things, we had good meals, our house was warm, my dad drove a nice car.  I dressed nice.  Things seemed good.  Life was easy.  I figured life was easy because my dad had a good job.  My mom worked sometimes too bringing in extra money.  Money must have meant happiness to me.  In fact, I thought everyone who went to work, had a good job, made good money, lived an, "easy life."  Oh the thoughts of a child.  Of course now I know it was hard.  It is hard, for everyone.   

I remember as I grew in age and grade, there were a couple of girls in my class who would come to school, their hair uncombed.  Their shoes in the winter didn't seem like a wise choice.  They looked like they were lacking in being loved.  Who was loving them?  I hoped they were loved.  When you rise to the age of  a high school-er, the windows open, the picture is bright and you no longer deny what is real, to be real.  Although, there certainly are those who hide it well.  Its all a movie.  Cut and spliced, so those on the outside viewing, "the show"  don't see all the crap that takes place behind the camera. 

I was living this life.  I hate to admit it.  Its really no secret now though.  Everyone thought everything was fine in my family life.  Sure it was, on many, many levels.  However, when your parents are at dis-rest, when the life they lead while walking together down the street isn't all that it's, "cracked up to be."  When that relationship dissolves.  There is certainly a part of you that knows life isn't that great after-all.  People say, "money can't buy you happiness."  It's true. In many ways.  It is at those moments when you realizes life isn't easy.  People's roads are not smooth.  Even when they are, they aren't.  Do you get that.  They aren't.  It can be an illusion.  It's the ever changing scenery of fog to clarity, clarity to fog,  good to bad, bad to good.

In my home now, as an adult it is funny how I relate to life on a level of caution.  I directly inherited this tendency from my parents.  I sometimes feel like I'm one of those little channels in the sand that water from a recent storm has left behind.  Rain water runs through the channel, other channels run along side with their own little rivers.  The water is on a deliberate path, its following the channel that has been put into place.  I am in a channel.  The idea that it can't change permanently for the better is disappointing.  It must go from fog to clarity, from good to bad, from up to down and down to up.  It is a certainty.

Moving on through age, the passing of time, I started to realize that through the good, there is always bad.  It is the wave that crashes into my channel, my stream I so quickly and easily travel.  It smashes my channel and while my channel always ends up running smoothly again, for those moments of hardships, it is mangled, it is seemingly destroyed.  It has to resurface.  It has to fight to bring back its original beauty.  Cutting through the sand, the sweet little design it made in the world.   I certainly stop and ask why.  Why does it have to be this way.  Why does life hurt my feelings so badly at times.  Why does life hurt others.  Why does life have to be a struggle.  Why does life seem so unfair.  

My husband and I love to sit and have coffee after our two children are out the door and off to school.  (After we have hammered into them to, learn, Learn, LEARN!)  Haha.  We discuss everything you can imagine.  Our discussions bring about laughter, debate, scrutiny, love, disbelief, thankfulness.  We cover most all spectrum's of emotion.  We really dive into a topic and pick it apart like two detectives trying to solve a crime.  I find our discussions to be most enjoyable.  One day the discussion of faith came into play, the discussion of religion.  The tabu of all topics.  I suppose.  But between husband and wife, its okay, or at least in our case it is, because we have friendly discussions, and always appreciate the others view.  Another way to put it would be, I'm traveling on safe ground when discussing anything with my husband.

Most of you probably know by now, I'm a strong Christian.  I don't necessarily believe it has as much to do with going to church for years as a kid or attending a Christian school as it does with the discussions I hold personally with The Lord  and Jesus Christ.  Some will roll their eyes at me when I express these feelings, that I have an actual relationship through prayer with The Lord.  My husband was brought up Catholic.  I must say when I go to a Catholic Church Mass I really enjoy it.  The ritual, the spirituality, the seriousness of it all.  It's moving.  My husband being a smart man, finds room to question.  While he is a practicing Christian, he finds room to bring up valuable questions.  One particular question relates to my blog today. 

"Why is there so much suffering in the world?   Why do people suffer? Why are children dying of painful cancerous diseases?  Tragedies?  Tragic accidents or situations that leave so many left to ask and wonder why?  Or how could this be?  Why does God let this happen?"

Well, that is a question I have been able to face and answer strongly any time I hear it.  "The Lord did not bring about this suffering, this struggle, this sinful world does.  Furthermore, Heaven is a destination, those who enter it, would never ever, choose to leave.  So on the topic of death, while tragic to those left behind,.. is nothing short of miraculous for those who have passed into a new level of consciousness." 

Still, there are times when I suffer and feel hopeless...destined for failure, but at those times I go to The Lord in prayer.  I imagine anyone who believes in a "Higher Power" does.

Putting one day at a time helps.  Focusing on the hour I am in, the moment I am in, helps.  Staying focused on being positive works. 

Life is not easy.  Life will never truly be easy.  It is a job to live.  It is work.  It is happy mixed with sad.  It is hopeful mixed with hopeless.  It is energy mixed with exhaustion.  It is love mixed with hate.  It is understanding mixed with disbelief.  It is life being thrown at you from all directions.   Perhaps one at a time, or simultaneously.  It is a strength builder.  A teacher of resilience.  A teacher of patience and acceptance.  It is life.  It is the hard climb with a dangerous decent.  It is a hard climb with the euphoria of achievement.  It is a reflection, it is a vision.  It is life.

So a new day is here.  I will be happy and grateful and thankful for the new day and I will live in the moment.
Today!  This moment!

Let us enjoy life for what it is, ... or for what it isn't!  But let us find the blessings in life that make life worth Living!
Today and Everyday.  

S.
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