My little boy wants an Elf on the Shelf. After all, his teacher has one in his classroom. When he first told me the story of this little Elf, I was unaware of his magical powers, his ability to move about, his daily reporting back to Santa. Very interesting I thought. My little boy explained to me that after Christmas this little elf returns to the North Pole and to Santa. Also interesting. So tonight while driving in our car, my little boy says to me, "Can we please get an Elf on the Shelf?" I took a deep breath and exhaled. Beginning to spin my web of lies, I told him I had investigated this little elf on the Internet. He was surprised. "You did?" "I did." I explained that I was a little concerned about the adoption process. This would be an additional family member. "Did you know that I'm advised to take out a health insurance policy on this little guy?" My little boy looked at me in astonishment. "Really?" He said. "He needs health insurance?"
"Sure he does," I said. "I mean, he is moving stuff around, like your school desks, you said. He is climbing about, one fall and that's it, it's off to the emergency room, bills, bills, bills! Oh my."
"Wow!" My little boy said. Also, I told him that this little elf would be missed when he left at the end of Christmas to go back to Santa, and I am really not good about loving and letting go. That just sounded terrible. Then to go a little further... yes, I went further.....I told him on the Internet they express caution about how much this little elf loves the cold. I explained to my little boy that we may not be able to find him, only to realize he has put himself into the freezer, or we may find him sitting on a shelf in the fridge. One little boy said he found his little elf sitting atop of a snow cone when he got home. Little elf's butt settled deep into the crushed ice, little legs stuck up in the air. This got my little boy laughing. I love to listen to him giggle. I really had to work hard to keep a straight face. I also told him I would really have to be careful off of which web site I ordered. If I was careless and really didn't pay attention I might accidentally order Evil Elf. "What is that?" my son asked very interested. I said, "he's a fake elf."
"Fake?" asked my little boy.
"Yes! And he likes to tie shoes together, or leave the freezer open and play tricks all day."
This completely back fired.
"I want HIM! Can we ask Santa for HIM!?"
"NO!" Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. I thought. I know he is going straight back to school on Monday and he is going to tell his little friends about Evil Elf. Whoops. Silly mommy.
My little boy jumped back into questions that I do not know the answers to. I have never read the book that comes with this little elf. I'm just pulling his leg, trying to make him laugh, and possibly divert the possibility of adopting this little guy into my house. He started asking me questions about his magical abilities. I expressed to him that if he was reporting back to Santa on a daily basis, he might really be in trouble. I expressed that he, (my little boy) could in fact be a little pistol and having a spy in the house telling Santa of all the trouble he gives to his big sister could come back to bite him in the A_ _ !
Charles suggested giving him cookies at the end of each day, prior to the trip to Santa. Bribery. He went to bribery.
Needless to say, he is still interested in adopting, providing health insurance, and bribing the elf and getting Evil Elf as well. He actually said to me, "Then you will have 2 little pistols in the house!" Great! Just great. Why do I do this to myself. Ugh.
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