Walk the line...or straddle it?

I haven't written in a while as my computer was officially on the fritz but I have it back, it's up and running, so here it goes.  Back to the Friday blog post.  If anyone cares.  Lol.

I truly try to walk the line at work and in life.  I guess what I mean is, I try to be an un-distruptive human being.  Friendly, kind, supportive.  Caring to the community and those working and living in it.  It isn't hard.  After all, don't we all do that?  As I've stated many times before, I'm contemplative. Contemplative.  That's a good word for me.  I juggle thoughts.  I weigh things one way, then I weigh things another way.  I toss things around, ideas, issues, back and forth, juggling them from side to side.  I contemplate.  I'm a contemplator.  Is that a word?  I often voice my contemplation's.  I'm probably annoying when I do.  If I have a suggestion, no matter how hard I might try to hold it in, it always comes out.  Of course it comes out in the most kind and respectful way but even then, it is not always received openly.  How am I suppose to keep things to myself that I believe would be helpful?  What do you do?  Hold it in?  Watch with the desire to share and make improvements on the situation, finding the best moment to share your idea?   Or do you just sit back and watch?  Let things roll just the way they do, or make a statement about the interesting, ineffective ways, things are rolling?

If I were to straddle the line, I'm sure it would feel awkward.  I'd probably stumble, lose my balance, or make a fool of myself.  And yet, I must say, I do tend to straddle a lot lately.  You see, I'm working at a new place.  This is a new job.  It's of course a very familiar field, but it's a new account, new scenery, new atmosphere and while I know what to do, very well in fact, I'm tested.  I'm judged.  I'm questioned.  This of course does not bother me one bit as I enjoy the challenge of the, "new."  However, nothing is going smoothly.  It's a rocky road.  It's one that is contemplative.  It brings forth straddling the line I typically walk so perfectly straight. 

What is it about me that causes me, to push issues?  What is it about me that cannot refrain from saying what I think will work better, will be more efficient.  Is it my years of working a lone in solitude?  Have I become socially inept?  Am I to be but a thorn in someones side?  Maybe I have become anti-social.  I can't work well with others because I've worked alone for just too long.  It's a power struggle for sure.  Who knows more?  Me, or them?  He/she or me?  I do know, that I have read before that holding ones tongue is the mature thing to do, the wise choice.  If it is, then I guess it gives me incentive to try it.  Hold my tongue.  Go with the flow, even when I think, even when I know, their way is wrong, is ineffective, is a time waster.  Intellect drives me.  I am smart enough to know what works and what doesn't and why shouldn't I?  I'm experienced.  I know my stuff, after all, I've been doing this and running my life this way for years now.  Who are you to tell me all I know is wrong?  All that I do could be done better. 

Contemplative.  I am in contemplation.  Which, I suppose is a worth while way to be.  It keeps me thinking.  Keeps me on my toes.  I'm walking it.  I'm straddling it.  I'm walking it.  I'm trying to be easy going, accepting, understanding and accommodating.  In the end, I will either manage to straddle with success, walk the line peacefully, or perhaps, walk the line into something I like better.  Life is an interesting balance isn't it?  It's the story we continue to write, it's the new chapter we put into our book each and every day.  Today I will rest the pen, put the book mark in my book and leave it as it is, today. 
June 6th, 2014.
S.