Wee hours of night.

Happy July 23rd.

Because we are into the midst of summer, my blog posts are few & far between. It is not as though I do not want to write, it's just that when I do, I find myself too sleepy to stay awake and write. Summer can run a person ragged. Haha. My desire to write is strong as well. I have many ideas in the wee hours of night and thoughts but most tend to be fleeting, or only the beginnings of stories with no definite ending. So, today I thought I would write to you about life. I know I write about life on occasion but with passing days and months, I find new & interesting observances that I'll share.

Time is changing my children. They continue to grow and mature. I know some of my friends have already walked through these years with their children. I also have friends who are behind me, yet to walk through the years I have with mine. I find that sharing stories is fun and interesting but mostly irrelevant, as all children are so uniquely different, they are growing up in their own unique experience. My children still open my eyes to a world I don't always see. Their perspective is so clean. Their views are so innocent. I love that, but wonder, when do I warn them about the so called, "Real World" and all the things I wish they would never see or know.

My little girl asks me interesting questions a lot. The wheels are spinning and she is piecing together genuine thoughts and concerns. When she talks to me about her grand parent's divorce, I get butterflies in my tummy and I must take a deep breath. "Why did they get divorced? Didn't they love each other?"  "What was it like having to choose which parent to live with?" "When you moved out of your room were you sad?"  "What happened to all of your toys, mom?" "Do you think you and dad would ever get divorced?"

Divorce is a very ugly place for a child. In my assessment, any child. I find it difficult to go back and relive those moments. It's a challenge for me to understand how to explain the complexities of life, love, and relationships.  I have expressed to her, "a broken heart is inevitable." It is one emotion she will have to experience. I wish so badly that were not the case but it is a reality.

She also asks many questions about being a woman. Growing up into an, adult version of herself. She is a joy in my life to say the least. She tries on my high heels and says things like, "when my feet grow into all these shoes, can I borrow any pair I want to?" Her big beaming grin from ear to ear makes it very hard to say no. She asks me questions about her body, does it look normal? Why this, why that. She wants to know about boys, getting married, having babies. I do give her advice, I do try to lay out some directions for a smoother life. Will my words come into play on the day they're needed? Who knows. All I can do is hope so. I find myself being very honest with her. Very open we talk back and forth with ease. Sometimes we break out in laughter, sometimes we cry. We hug like a momma and baby bear and I reassure her over and over of my love for her. My eternal love, unconditional. She is a gem in my life.

My son is too young to ask me many serious questions. Mostly he wants to know,  "if you were in a demolition derby, which Match Box Car would you rather have?  This one? Or this one?" Haha. I like that he is on a much different level of questions than my 12 year old. I find him very refreshing at times. He can take me from the responsibilities of an adult woman, mother, wife, employee, to a child. The other day he had me, "Googling" like crazy. "When was the first phone made mom?" "Who got the first call?"  "Who invented the very first automobile mom?" Etc.  Etc. I would read aloud to him what I had found and before I could even finish, out popped the next question. Yet, I must say, I do find myself throwing out instructions on life to him on a daily basis. I call them, "Life Lessons."
"Come here and get your life lesson" I'll say. Which most of the time he does this heavy sigh and makes some type of rumbling, bubbly sound with his mouth.

Mothers have so much to say to their children. So much to share. Our worries come out verbally and we express all the things they must be, "careful" about.  Dads tend to roll their eyes. I suppose they think, "they'll figure it out on their own. They'll figure it out when the time comes." Mothers prefer to warn their children about everything.  😊

I've let my daughter in on some important secrets in life. When we discussed the realities behind Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Leprechaun, because she hounded and hounded me, she was  truly devastated  to hear the news. Which in turn made me feel awful for revealing the news. My son may now, never know the real story. Lol.

Innocence is beautiful. Knowledge is necessary. Innocence is light hearted. Knowledge is reality sharply revealed. Innocence is whimsical and cheerful. Knowledge is a graphic description.

I talked to a man the other day, a successful business man, shrewd. He said to me, if there is one thing I have taught my children, it is the reality that life is NOT Fair. It never has been, it never will be. It is the one thing we all must realize and accept.

I do know this. I know we all do. We don't like it, it's irritating, but it just might be the one rule in life that allows us to sit back, express a sigh of relief, that we are not alone in our misfortunes, for everyone has moments where they just have to say it, "Life, ... Isn't fair."

I hope my children, your children, even our grand children are innocent in their inner being, their precious spirit but are wise in their minds eye, their intellectual backbone is rationally knowledgeable.

S.
sorry for any obvious typo's short on time.