As I watched the news and learned more and more about this killing spree a man in Kalamazoo Michigan allegedly went on, I was devastated for the families involved in this terrible event. It makes you want to pull your hair out doesn't it? It does me. I'm up in arms as the expression goes. This scenario being played out over and over again isn't going away. Doesn't seem to be going away, it just keeps happening all around our country. At first I think I thought, it was just someone's desperate plea for attention. Then I think I thought, it was young kids who didn't realize what they were doing. Then I think I thought, it was individuals who had been bullied in some way and turned to revenge, now I'm questioning why? Irregardless, something's wrong in our society for this problem to continue. After all, I'm not the only citizen of, These United States of America who is horrified every time something like this happens. I think, I thought, everyone found it horrific, therefore it would stop.
As a wife and mother, I now find myself second guessing plans to take trips, or go on outings. Now here again is a new scenario. Upon learning two victims were a father and son shot and killed while enjoying time together, doing something so ordinary as walking through a car lot, I have to wonder, will I be looking over my shoulder now as a result of this terrible incident anytime I walk onto a auto dealers car lot?
The beautiful women who were killed included a mother and daughter-in-law, accompanied by two other women, all shot and killed in their car at a local restaurant. Really? I happen to love going out for dinner at our local restaurants but now, my mind will remember the impossible that became all too possible just the other night here in Michigan, not to mention others who were injured. No one is safe and isn't that sad. I hate to be pessimistic, as if to say there's no end in sight, but I'm worried.
Let me play out a scenario that happened a few years ago. My husband and I attended a dance show for our daughter. As we headed into the venue, others were walking in with us and all were dressed to the nine's, in other words, everyone was looking their best. However, I happened to notice one man, who'd pulled abruptly into a parking space driving a very large black truck step out of his vehicle. He was dressed in camouflage, he wore combat boots and he was carrying a camouflage backpack which he had slung over his shoulder. I found it odd. He didn't fit in. He didn't seem to be a military person, in fact, he looked completely out of place and I couldn't understand what he would be carrying in a backpack.
As we went to find our seats, I noticed the man standing at the door by the ticket collectors. Without a ticket, he wasn't allowed to enter and I saw him turn and walk away. As I sat down I said to my husband, I have a strange feeling about someone in the building. He looked at me like I was crazy. I shared with him my concerns. "I want you to watch the door over there." I pointed at the opposite door from the door we had entered through. "He was turned away at the door over here." I pointed at the entrance we came through. My husband looked at me oddly. I said, "We should be aware of the exits. If he comes around to this door, we should be prepared to leave the building using those doors over there." My kind husband said, Honey, relax, we live in the nicest community in America, nothing is going to happen here. There's nothing to worry about. I thought to myself, "I'm sure those were many a victim's famous last words."
I thought to myself, "I live in America, I know there are things happening sporadically all over our country for what seems to be non-explainable reasons. I'm on alert. Aren't we all on alert these days? Is it just me?"
I explained again why I felt I had reason to be concerned, he didn't fit in. My husband straighten his backbone and sat up tall in his seat. He looked over his shoulder, glanced around the room and then took my hand and held it, he shared a warm smile with me. His nonverbal said, "Don't worry honey, all is fine." A moment later, as the lights went down in the theater, I noticed the man in camouflage, sitting in the dark, lit by a stair light, on the third step of the staircase leading to the mezzanine. I leaned over and whispered to my husband where he was sitting. He wasn't sitting in an assigned seat. My husband glanced over his shoulder and checked him out. He whispered to me again not to worry, he was sure it was nothing. I held his hand and trusted his instincts. Being married to a military man, I felt safe and tried to enjoyed the show, even though, every once in awhile I kept checking on the man in camouflage.
After the show ended and the reception began, I saw the man in camouflage go over and pick up a tiny little dancer. A little one he obviously knew, maybe a daughter or a niece. After he congratulated her he pulled flowers out of his camouflage backpack. I'll admit, I felt foolish that I had ever questioned his intentions but then, almost shaken by the reality of the life and times we live in, I realized, with tears in my eyes, this is the world I live in now. A world where one must be on guard and aware of their surroundings at all times, prepared for the unexpected, even the unfathomable. It shook me up. I suddenly felt afraid for my family, my kids, my friends. The thought, that I deemed our society unsafe, was unsettling. Life, I decided had changed.
So tonight, once again, as I listened to the nightly news and heard more details to this awful story about what had taken place in Kalamazoo Michigan, I found myself saddened and worried about our society. What can be done? What do we know? What have we learned? Is there a common link? Are actions motivated by desperation? Rage? Mental health illnesses? Revenge? Are these actions avoidable? Have we missed something? Have we not taught the importance of self control or the importance of maintaining a good clean conscious? I believed and still believe, we all grow up learning how to be a good person, a kind person, a good human, patient with one another, accepting of one another, understanding of one another and individual struggles or downfalls facing each other. I question what is required for humans to live together in harmony? A question for the ages, right?
One thing that cuts me to the core, is the realization and understanding, that taking one life affects multitudes of lives with unthinkable grief, unbelievable irreplaceable loss. It's heart wrenching. How does one deal with this act of violence and rage and what would I do if it happened here? It has to stop. I pray and I'll continue to pray for the greater good, that something brings an end to this pain and inhumanity.
I will always be wishing my readers the best life has to offer. Be safe, be happy, be an inspiration to others.
By the way, I should mention, I love Camo. My husband is an avid hunter,
there is nothing I like to see more, than my husband walk around in his camo gear. Just for the record.
But this particular instance, in this particular case,
This man's attire stood out. That's all I'm saying. :-)
S.
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