"Someday I hope you have a child Just Like YOU!"

Did your parents ever put the curse on you, that they wished one day, you would have a child just like You! Remember that? I do. At the time I knew it was an empty threat. "Who cares!" I thought. 34 years later, that statement actually makes me tear up. It isn't an empty threat anymore but I must admit, I never would have dreamt in a thousand years, that it would ever actually come true. It sure would be nice not to have to revisit who I must have been at 10 years old every time I scold my son.   When I watch my ten year old misbehave because he's so full of energy, that he seems to bug everyone, he seems to disregard anyone's correction, request, or pleading even. At those moments I have instant flashbacks. It's as if time stands still. I am instantly transported back in time to ten years old being scolded. I am hearing the same words repeated back to me, the same words that used to be said to me, that I am now saying to my son. I remember and recall conversations as an adult, where my mom reminds me how much I tested the boundaries. How irritating I was. How often she defended me because I had completely driven my dad up one wall and down another. If my son is me, only 34 years later, if my son is me, only in male form, then I feel so sad that I've passed me, onto he. 😔

I just can't help but tear up over it.

When I tell my kids I love them, it's more than love, in fact, it's no different than loving myself purely and at an even deeper level. I was taught to love myself and I always have. These two individuals I have in my life, my daughter and son, came through me, developed within me, grew inside of me. I was so careful. I made every effort to care for them, through the caring of me. I love them as much as I love myself, more than I love myself. God let these two Angels, grow and come through me, therefore, they are miracles I helped bring forth into the world. The point being, I love my kids, I love them so much, that I don't need them following in every footstep I took.

So, again today I corrected, scolded, felt irritation by me, or... the child that my parents wished on me. The child that I would have, who would be, "Just Like Me" and I feel sad. I believe he inherited my unfavorable ways. If only I had been a good kid more of the time, he wouldn't have been cursed to be, Just Like Me. 😔 One thing I realize is I didn't have the ability to correct when I was being this way, therefore, I don't know that my son can correct either. In fact, as much as I do remember, I also don't remember, about my irritating ways.

I've thought of this curse before, and I've even thought of using it on my two but I won't.
Now I know, that that curse can come true and the real tragedy IN that, is the self reflection that results from such a curse.

Sorry Dad and mom, if I could go back and change it... change me.... I would.
S.